The Politburo Diktat

One-way Trackback Intolerance

Michele issues the regrettably necessary quarterly reminder about one-sided Trackbacks. She's right.

I also agree with her punchline, "I am caring less and less about my intolerance," at least with respect to blogging. Put me firmly in the "Don't Like? Don't Read" camp. (For further details, see Kate's Complaint Procedure.)

Here's my intolerance of the day, re: Trackbacks. Michele properly deletes "one-sided" trackbacks, those that don't reference her post at all. Khorosho.

But recently there's been a new twist on this maneuver: the "here's who's commenting" ploy. Here's how it works. I am a small or middling blogger and I write a post about the Michael Jackson verdict (for example). At the bottom of my entry, I insert Trackbacks to a long list of big name bloggers, e.g. "Also commenting are (linked) Michele, Michelle, Jeff Jarvis, Atrios, Wizbang, Capt Ed, Kevin Drum, LGF, etc. etc." Come on guys, that's just a slightly refined version of an unlinked Trackback.

Carnivals and link-whoring and other memes are all good fun. But the behavior above is just another example of blogging brinksmanship, which pisses me off.

Yeah, that's it. "Blogging brinksmanship." There are too many a**holes in the blogosphere trying their damnedest to push right up against up some common sense behavioral or ethical line. And then, when you call 'em on it, they (or their lawyers) freak out.

Hang 'em high, Michele, Hang 'em high.

One Way Trackbacks

Third time this week.

Some comrades will end up in Lubyanka, ... if they are lucky. Let me go through this.

When you Trackback to my post comrade, you are planting a small advertisement for your blog on my blog. Is like just like Capitalist ad. You get to promote your blog over here. By permitting Trackbacks, the Commissar, like most bloggers, is giving you permission to update his blog, ... permission to plant a Trackback, ... permission to promote your blog. Commissar is khorosho people's revolutionary, "Workers of the World, Unite" kind of guy. Blogging is collectiv, cooperative, people's venture. It is wholly egalitarian, fraternal, and socialist.

Let me emphasize "unity, egalitarian, and fraternal." Da, comrades, in that spirit, when you plant a Trackback on my blog, you should have a link to my blog on your blog. You see? Very fraternal, da? Is what they call "two-way street." "You scratch my blog, I'll scratch yours." "You gotta give a little to get a little." "One hand washes the other." Should I go into full-bore, cliche-overload mode? Nyet.

But I will ask one question ...

Why do some misbegotten comrades insist on sending out these parasitical, non-fraternal, Trotskyite, malicious, insidious, greedy Capitalistic, ONE WAY TRACKBACKS?

What is explanation? Confess, comrade, make it easy on yourself.

Politburo Chat Tonight

Bloggers' Chat Tonight!

The Commissar will open the Politburo Chat Room tonight, from 8PM ET. The focus will be on blogs and bloggers, with discussion, questions and maybe even answers on :

- Post-election blogging
- Newbies - building traffic
- Evolving 'schtick' bloggers
- Technical issues: MT, trackbacks, comment spam, etc.
- Whatever comes to mind. Online chats never follow any plan.

Very simple, non-intrusive registration required. Then leave the defaults and just click on 'Chat.'

Everything you always wanted to know

... about blogging, from my Hong Kong co-worker Simon.

Khorosho roundup of all the blogging advice available.

Guest Blogging Etiquette

When guest blogging for a buddy, what is proper etiquette?

First, Bingorski (in comments) suggests that I should keep with the blog's schtick format. Never one to overlook unsolicited advice, I hereafter take on proper Russian accent. Is chorosho?

Next, when blogging while paren is away at gulag, is very important to keep sitemeter up. Perhaps Dean Esmay learn something from tavarisch Gandelman last time he is guest blogging, da? No better way to up sitemeter than to drop link of Instapundit and expound merits of decadent p0rnography!

Always remember when guest blogging to drop-links-to-own-website. But I would never be thinking of that!!!

When guest blogging you should do best to only write things that regular host would write. Having taken the pledge, I proclaim the following bloggers wrong, wrong, wrong!!

Ace-nothing to see here, move along!
Glenn Reynolds-how is possible seperate morals from science?
Bill-how dare insult Comrade Willis!! Is like Atkins to fat, da?
Michelle Malkin-is just first step. Slippery slope begins with stolen election of criminal Shrub Bush!
Allah-Is too late to resign from party? Is not fair! What are comrades to do?

Also, is always good idea to point out flaws of leftist bloggers.

Comrade dKos on soon to be released poverty numbers:

As far as this administration is concerned, the less people are around to see the results of their policies, the better.

Da Comrade, is just like Stalin's plan to starve countryside, eh?

Comrade Atrios thinks Russert should be joining Commissar in gulag:

Of course, it goes without saying that once Russert became a part of an investigation of the highest officials in government he should have been put on leave until it was resolved.

Highest officials? Da! If criminal Bush is under investigation, is good reason to be put on leave. Chorosho logic comrade. Of course earlier, Comrade Atrios put blame on Bush administration for blowing Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan's cover. When will we see retraction when he learns that criminal Bush administration was not source of leak?

Oliver Willis implies that Iraq War was really conspiracy by criminal Chalibai! Is funny because is true. I question timing of Chalibai's arrest.

Last, when guest blogging, always remember to laud praises on gracious host for allowing humble peasant the opportunity to work for the vangaurd of the proletariat's website. Thank you Commissar! You are greatest blogger on earth. Most funny. Most smart. Most clever. And yes, most sexy (is manly compliment, not gay, I am swearing!).

Anti-Spam Strategy

blogoSFERICS: Toward a More Sophisticated Anti-Spam Strategy

Notorious Kulak McGehee notes useful tactic in bloggers' spam wars. How can bloggers display their email addresses for human comrades only, while preventing greedy Capitalist spambots from finding them? "A picture is worth a thousand words."

The Liberation of Celebrity Linkage

Janet Jackson? Paris Hilton? Nick Berg? The Commisar formerly recoiled from such nekulturniy topics. Former Party Line said: "Temporary Google spikes only. Bah! Who needs them. The only worthwhile goal is to blog on topics of humor, passion, or insight, such that other bloggers, in awed respect, will link to the posts."

No, comrades, going for Google hits on topical subjects, typically celebrities, can be more worthwhile than I had thought. Primarily because topical subjects can have legs. Wizbang and Backcountry Conservative are still drawing significant traffic from Nick Berg. (Whether a given topic is appropriate or objectionable is another discussion.) In any case, entries on celebrities or seemingly short-lived topics can draw traffic for many weeks.

What
Topics that interest you. Da! Even if topic is nekulturniy. Cannot worry about what another, possibly influential bloggers might think. 1) If you are interested, surely other readers will be too. 2) If your blog reveals an imperfect aspect of your character, there is always Baldilocks. If you are not interested in a topic, I cannot imagine why you would post about it, but it's a free Blogistan.

How
- Get in early and often. When the headlines hit, and you're interested, then post about it!
- Add some value. Don't just link. Add your thoughts. Or, keep a current list of where high-demand videos can be found. But add some value.
- Don't worry if you are 1, 2, or 3 days late. That's still 'early,' Bloggers are way ahead of the Google-searching public. Usually Google searches peak after the bloggers are getting bored with a topic.
- Somewhere in your post, mis-spell the key word. I am on top of "Washingtoniene," so to speak. One "N," comrades, one "N."
- Use some keywords. For almost any topic, there will be many searches on the topic word + "pics," "photos," and "images." If you use such words, maybe include some, da? For female celebrities, "nude," and "naked" come up. But ... How far you get into soft-core porn is tricky. For example, Paypal will bounce sites that even dabble in such. Tread lightly in this area, comrades. In all cases, only use keywords that accurately reflect what is actually included on your blog.

Who
Blogs must be established and well-linked. Say 'Large Mammal' status on TTLB Ecosystem or 100 Inbound links on Technorati. (Getting a blog to that level is another discusion.) Google is link-driven, and just will not place highly enough blogs which are not already supported by numerous incoming links.

Why
For liberation, comrades. Traffic, too, of course. But also, is very liberating. Bloggers worry about their identity. "Is this topic 'right' for my blog? Will anyone link to it? How can I be funny today?" How can I make a nuanced argument from within this schtick?

I assure you comrades, once you make the plunge to follow the most nekulturniy of stories, to Siberia and beyond, as Skillzy would say, you know that your Revolution has succeeded, and that you are in control of your own blog. Very liberating!

Coincidentally, OTB and Full of Crap offer their contrasting views. In fact, I wonder if Laurence was using my blog as a model for his 'what not to do' section. :)

Energy

At request of Comrade Moe, here is latest diktat on Revolutionary blogging techniques.

First, I must direct you to pravda articles by Comrade Bill and Comrade Michele (follow her rules, or else this, with Red Sox hat on!).

Speaking of "energy" and Comrade Michele, and Comrade Bill, and, of course, Comrade Dean, and Comrade James, let me assure you that your Blogrolling.com indicator is not stuck in the "ON" position for these Revolutionary bloggers. I merely set mine to "0.5 nanoseconds" and their "recently updated" indicators do turn off.

Second, some wonder how four individuals can perform such prodigious feats. Such stamina. To post, again and again, and when most would be satiated, and content to have cigarette, these bloggers rouse themselves to explosive new heights of blogging passion.

NKVD has determined secret. You think there are exactly four bloggers doing this? Wrong. Not at all. Is internet Potemkin Village. Da. How could these four keep up with these blogs? Nyet, is not four bloggers, ... is only one blogger running all of them.

Energy. That is what makes successful blogger, from "donkey-intercourse" (from she who must not be named) to Islamic Photoshopping to endlessly thoughtful & erudite essays, comrades who put "energy" into it become the Revolutionary leaders.

Comrade Moe has confessed his interest in the meta-blogging posts. Da, Commissar has done many. Now, Commissar has been at this six months, is pushing 1,000 hits per day, is an established medium blogger. In thinking about rules, and how-to, the Party Line is still correkt, is still accurate. But there is difference.

"How-to rules" include component of blog promotion. For newer, smaller blogs, such advancement of Revolutionary message makes real impact. For medium and larger bloggers, less so. And, "promotion" takes energy. (And I assure you comrades, I am not MicheleBillJamesDean.)

Consider "Comment Spam." You go around to 25 blogs and leave interesting, relevant comment. (If not interesting and relevant - then gulag!) Msot bloggers, on seeing such comment will return to yours. So in return for your Stakhanovite promotion, you get 25 hits and introductory awareness at 25 blogs. If you are getting 100 hits per day, is khorosho result. But if you are already getting 1,000, then this is a smaller relative impact. And, if you are medium blogger of six months tenure, most other bloggers are at least aware of you.

Thus comrades gradually turn away from such blog promotions. Perhaps because "I only blog for myself." (Reminds Commissar of three greatest lies from high school, ... Splort! ... Ooops! ... Sorry... Hehe) Whatever else might be at work, the math begins to minimize the impact of promotions.

And comrade turns "energy" more into blogging content.

Comrade Bill on Comment

INDC Journal: INDC Journal Guerrilla Blogging Guide: Comment Spam

On Saturday, I confessed to some of my blogging sins and outed myself as a link whore. Well, it seems that some of you have taken my story to heart and are attempting to duplicate my early, shameless efforts. Case in point, commenter David Tufte, who made a clumsy pass at INDC Journal with one of my favorite guerilla tactics: the comment spam.

Let's review David's spirited, yet flawed technique. Under my link whore post, he ...

Comrade Bill offers prooper and correct insights, in full conformity to Revolutionary Party Line. Khorosho.

On this matter of Revolutionary Blogging Advice, The Commissar begins to understand how Comrade Trotsky must have felt at Tenth Party Congress when so many Politburo members were impressed by Josef Vissarionovich. :)

Comrade INDC Joins Revolution

INDC Journal: Confessions of a Link Whore

Read Comrade Bill's frank self-criticism.

Is khorosho May Day gift to other good Party "memebers."

Or, as Comrade D.V. would say, "Welcome to the Dark Side."

Perhaps Comrade Bill should spread his Revolution with the Council.

Trackbacks - The Peoples' Version

Many comrades wonder about Trackbacks (TB) and struggle with them. Here is non-technical, peoples' version from 'knows-just-enough-to-be-dangerous' Commissar.

Purpose

Trackbacks automatically put a link to your post in another blog, generally on a post that you have linked to. If I write a post on Fallujah and link to another blogger's post about Fallujah, the magic of Trackback will insert a link back to my post, over there, on that guy's blog.

How TBs Work

While Movable Type (MT) and other blogging tools automate the Trackback process, let's understand what is happening "behind the curtain."

When I Trackback to your post, I 'ping' that post, a 'ping' being a small packet of information: my blog name, my post's URL, and an excerpt of my post. That ping is sent to your blog (or your blog's database), which accepts it. There's handshake going on. When my database receives confirmation back, the deal is done successfully.

Automated or Manual

In fact, linking to someone's post and pinging it are two different events. MT automates that and makes them seamlessly happen together. Very cool for ongoing usage, but miserable for a newbie trying to understand what's happening.

Still referring to MT-powered blogs, when I link to:
http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/archives/000228.html

I also must send my Trackback to this URL over at that blog:
http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/228

MT figures this out and pings the second URL automatically.

URL? Which URL?

When a newbie blogger looks at the bottom of a post, there are all these obscure URL's to choose from. The notion that you link to the one showing the time of the post, e.g. "10:22 PM," was not immediately obvius to this blogger. And, if you need to send a manual ping, the one noted above is hiding inside the Trackback popup box. (This URL "http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi?__mode=view&entry_id=228" is totally irrelevant; it's NOT what you want. If you care, THAT is the URL where the other blogger DISPLAYS the TB's sent to that entry.)

MT, by default, enables both the sender to automatically ping other blogs when linked and the receiver to accept. If all bloggers were on MT, with quick-responding databases, and all had the automatic defaults set, there would be little reason for THIS post

TB's Work Most of The Time

This is the nasty little secret, which certainly confused this blogger. Accept it. Don't sweat it.

There are a few things that can cause TB's not to work automatically and seamlessly. One blogger that I TB to has URLs that are not ".html" files, but ".php" I guess that MovableType doesn't know how to figure out the ping URL in that case. So I ping that guy manually. Other blogs, notably the .munu domains, respond slowly, and the process times out. My data base gets tired of waiting for confirmation, and says "Crap, that ping was never accepted." In fact, the ping HAS been received over there. If I never update that post, it doesn't matter, but if I do update, whammo, my database sends the damn Trackback ping again! Now I've pinged the guy twice. (Double pings are a minor annoyance; most bloggers dont mind an occasioanl double-ping, because this stuff IS imperfect.) There's another blogger who I have tried to Trackback carefully, in automated mode, then manually, etc. It just never happens. Maybe she has set up her system to block pings from my URL; I doubt it, but such blocking is possible.

Step-by-Step (for Movable Type):

1. Compose your post and link to another blogger's relevant post.

2. Save it and watch your screen, which (hopefully) will show you that that post is being pinged.

3. Maybe you get an error message saying "that ping to blog xyz" timed out. Don't worry about (not yet). The ping happened, I assure you.

4. Even if a 'timeout' happened, you're all done; it's Miller time.

But suppose that the ping never appeared. Suppose MT didnt know how to figure out the ping URL from the post URL? Then you send a manual ping. Go to the other blog. Find the Trackback URL, copy it, and then paste it into the little box 'URLs to Ping.' Save your entry again.

Or, (ugh) suppose your ping appeared but timed out. Not a huge problem, but keepin mind, if you update and save your post, it will try again, and it will send the guy a second ping. One time I wsa mucking around, got all fouled up, and sent a blogger EIGHT Trackbacks! Ouch!

I have emailed Kevin at Wizbang, King of Fools, and Madfish Willie to solicit their technical review of this post. I will update with their comments; check back tomorrow comrades.

TB Etiquette

Most bloggers, myself included, strongly prefer that a Trackback to my post include a link to that post on your blog. Indeed, the automated MT process only sends Trackbacks in that case. But, it is certainly possible to ping manually any post you want, and insert a Trackback on someone else's post. Think about it. With Trackback, you can create a link TO your blog, without the other blogger's permission or knowledge, to an unrelated post, and WITHOUT giving him a link in return. To me, that's rude.

There IS a minority view, which says, "Who cares, Trackback all you like." I'll simply note that you can't piss anyone off by linking and mentioning when you do Trackback. Using it on posts of related topics is also recommended.

TB Religions

Commenter Velvel reminds me that there another body of opinion on the internet which fiercely opposed to Trackbacks.

Google "James Joyce Kuro5hin.org" (sic)

-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Bartender at Madfish Willies supplied further TB information and resources.

I found this at:
http://backlog.geeksblog.com/t/2003/02/24/000070/
============================================================
Phil Ringnalda explains HTTP error 500s that you may have in your MT
activity log if you ping other sites.

In short, when you ping weblogs.com for example, it has to check your site
before sending a reply. If the server is really busy, this can take longer
than MT's default 15 seconds. However, if MT doesn't receive a positive
response, it assumes the ping failed, even if it did go through.

You can adjust the ping timeout in mt.cfg. I changed mine to 30 seconds as
Phil suggests and we shall see if there are less errors.
=============================================================

A copy of the MT Users Manual is at:
http://blog.mu.nu/cgi/docs/mtmanual_trackback.html#trackback

I don't remember off the top of my head, but you may want to link Kevin
Wizbang's trackback thingy:
http://www.aylwardfamily.com/content/tbping.asp

This code
http://rpc.blogrolling.com/pinger/
in the --Publicity / Remote Interfaces / TrackBack-- section will update
the Blogrolling.com service so those sites will indicate new content.

Finally, you can also ping anyone else you may wish to ping by using the
-- URLs to Ping (?)-- section at the bottom of the Edit Entry page.

Unified Theory of Blogging

Comrade New Blogger,

So you have new blog. What do you want to do with it? What do you want to be?

Porno star? Good buddy to someone, if only yourself? Maybe you want to get real life? Or perhaps to become Bolshoi Blogger?

1. Hits. Hits. Hits.
Some bloggers want hits, traffic. They don't care how. No surprise, sex sells. As one eloquent commenter put it, "Show us your your rack." Or link to popular topics of the day. Ask Wizbang Kevin about "Paris Hilton download." Or Les Jones about "Janet Jackson." Or the Commissar about his fling with "Alex Polier."

If you want hits, show pictures of undressed pretty women or link to related downloads and topics. You will get hits. Any attractive young female blogger can do it with a digital camera. Others may have to scour the internet to find such pictures. But, whatever the source, you too can be a porno star.

2. Personal/Small Community
Some bloggers derive great satisfaction from involvement in a small community of Commenters and other bloggers. The Commissar is always a little surprised when he visits a blog that measures 50 hits a day, but there are 35 comments on every post. Mamamontezz, a gifted cartoonist blogger, blogs, in her words, "for a small but dedicated following." Why not? The Cheese Stands Alone, Letters of Marque, and Madfish Willie also fit this description.

A very important subset of this category are those who "blog for themselves," and if anyone else wants to leave a comment or a trackback, that's fine with them. In theory, such bloggers do not have, rarely check, or pay little attention to traffic and Sitemeters.

3. Real Life
Or maybe, you just want to get back to real life. Maybe you'll have some fun with blogging for a few weeks or months, and then tire of posts and comments and Sitemeters. That's a perfectly good option, and based on the level of unemployment in the blogosphere, perhaps better than the others. None of the options are bad. There are no value judgements here, at least with respect to blogging goals. (One value judgement: families and employers may genuinely appreciate less frequent blogging, da?)

4. The Big Blogger
Many bloggers want to generate a large readership on their content, on their intellectual merit --- be it humorous, angry, thoughtful, technical, or just plain entertaining. From Curmudgeonly to Drezner, and every aspiring blogger with a style in-between, lots of folks want to attract a large number of visitors. Call it attention, traffic, validation, or whatever you like, that's what most(?) of us are doing here.

How do you pursue that goal? Other than "show us your rack," how do you grow your readership?

A. Do a good job with the mechanics, aesthetics, and content.
Write as well as you can. Clean up your typos. Pick a subject or a focus, so that readers have some sense of what to expect. Use a nice layout. Enable Comments and Trackbacks. Make sure your pages load. Is the damn thing legible? And so on. In this section (A), I include everything about the design, the look-and-feel, the content, the topics, the style, AND the technical aspects of your blog.

Commissar must repeat -- Ninety percent of blogging "how-tos" falls in this category A.

B. Spend a few months at it.
One common denominator of the largest bloggers is that they have almost all been at it for a while. Allah, a genius, only took a few months from startup to 5,000 hits a day. Almost all other well-known, high-traffic bloggers have been at it far longer.

C. Update Frequently.
There's a well-known dichotomy between "thinkers" and "linkers," and you should do what you like. But a guy who only updates five times a week (other things equal) will get less traffic than someone who updates several time per day. I know that Frank J. of IMAO, another genius, has done well with his "once on weekdays" frequency. Nonetheless, many readers are looking for blogs that have been updated within the past few hours.

D. Relate to Other Bloggers.
Comment on other blogs. Exchange Trackbacks. You will almost certainly find occasion to email other bloggers. It IS a communal activity. If it is your style, you can even be abrasive and go around picking "blogfights." Or, engage in "silly memes" like maps, the Deck of Cards, Link-of-the-day, and Blogopoly. Whatever floats your boat. But a little discretion is called for here; too much of this turns people off.

E. Corporate Sponsorship.
Do you work for NRO? Are you Wankette? Read no more, you have some significant advantages with regard to building readership, but have some very different challenges, probably related to making money for your corporate sponsor.

F. The Iraqi Blonde.
Are you a hot blonde? Or do you blog from Iraq? Or maybe both? (Now THAT would be special!) If you have some special attribute, (other things being equal) you will get more readers than some ordinary person in an ordinary location. Good for you!

Everything preceeding, items A - F, are in your control. If you're a bright person, with just a little technical savvy, you can work hard on these. Maybe at risk to your work, family, and real life, but these are in your control. (You really could move to Iraq and bleach your hair.) Now, reluctantly, I get to item G.

G. The Genius Factor.
Maybe you know what I mean already. If not, go read Allah, and then go read (or try to read) Ayn Clouter. See the difference? We all have some immeasurable quality of reader appeal, entertainment genius, or blogging talent. Suppose Ayn Clouter worked very, very hard on items A-F. And Allah did a half-ass job on those. There's still no question; Allah would have the bigger readership.

This is the "big finish," comrade. You can, and should, break your butt to make yours a good, high-traffic blog. But at the end of the day, you (we, including me, The Commissar) will only generate some immeasurable maximum of traffic. Ultimately depending on your amount of "genius," the world will only absorb so much of you. Dowingba pointed this out, in a very entertaining "If Bloggers were Nintendo Games." We each have our own "glass ceiling" here in the blogosphere. Maybe we should all be realistic and accept it.

Me? I am going out to bang my head against it tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that! 80,000 daily hits or bust! Forward the Revolution! To the Top of the Winter Palace!

Instalanche - Nyet

Many comrades recently writing about sudden spikes in blog traffic, Dean Esmay, Bill Hobbs, Tao of Dowingba, and Michael Williams. Many considerations. Read whole things, da?

One more problem. Instalanche (or in Commissar's case) Wonk-alanche, Allah-lanche, Misha-lanche, and Merde-lanche) distorts SiteMeter, with one long spike of 4,000 hits, while rest of month runs at several hundred daily. Comrades wait all month for SiteMeter to get back to "relevant range." Who can read graph distorted by one tall spike?

Commissar calls following Site Meter graph "Just My Luck."

May be time for some general blogging comments.

Traffic vs. Readership

many comrades focus on "traffic," as measured by Site Meter. Is bolshoi error, not Party Line. Traffic comes and goes. Maybe spike, maybe not. While measurable, through URL hits, 'traffic' is not correct Revolutionary goal.

Goal is 'readership.' If readers are other bloggers who send you even more readers, is good. If your readers are bolshoi bloggers who send lots and lots of readers, even better. But real issue is 'readers,' not 'traffic.'

Women in Blogging

Read Bull's post.

The Laugher Curve

In the early Eighties, the economist Arthur Laffer popularized the Laffer Curve, as illustrated, showing the relationship between government revenues and tax rates. It summarized the intuitively obvious notion that as tax rates approach confiscatory levels, taxable economic activity would decline and in consequence so would the Fed's take. (More here.)

Here is the 21st Century Blogosphere corollary: "The Laugher Curve."

In which "t" = gimmicks, memes, contests, carnivals, games, maps, decks of cards, and other silly, humorous meta-blogging, tricks, as a percentage of the blogging content. (The use of such tricks has even ignited a recent blogfight, indeed, perhaps a minor blogwar! Aaron, Meryl, Dean, Laurence, James, and others have weighed in.)¹

"T" represents the Traffic flowing to the blog from such "tricks." In a stretched analogy, the blogger is 'taxing' the content of his blog, and perhaps his readers' patience, with a non-content-generating, i.e. non-productive, activity.

As obviously as Mr. Laffer noted two decades ago, some of that will generate more of the desirable result. But, as the "tax/trick" rate goes up, eventually revenues/traffic fall off.

Among other lessons, the Laugher Curve also describes the behavior of high Traffic blogs. Such blogs have a low "trick rate," a low usage of memes and gimmicks. Have high Traffic bloggers merely outgrown high "t" rates? Or are tricks and gimmicks inimical to their high quality content? The Politburo will consider that question.

And, as a "policy matter" for mid-sized bloggers, who have achieved some Traffic with a moderately high "t" rate, at what point should they undertake a "t" cut, and reduce their dependence on gimmicks? In this regard, being a genius helps.

¹ This post is purely behavioral, mathematical, historical, and humorous. The Commissar "has no dog in that blogfight." And for those who want to track such stuff, I linked to Aaron's Blogopoly post; his subsequent points are mainly in Comments on other posts.

Googlage

Of all things, The Commissar may have to admit that James Joyce of Kuro5hin, of Pre10tious Twat fame, may have had a point.

There is something amiss? surprising? odd? about Google and blogs. Only having first-hand knowledge of my own blog, I'll use The Politburo Diktat as an example. Almost any well-linked blog, let's say a TTLB Ecosystem Large Mammal or higher, must experience the same thing.

A couple months ago, I was surprised to see how highly this blog ranked on Google for "spider hole of denial," a phrase made briefly popular by Joe Lieberman. Then, even after taking Dean Esmay's "No Michael Jackson" pledge, I did a satiric post of Robert Fisk visiting Neverland Ranch; I soon experienced a steady, if small, number of Google hits on "Neverland Ranch." Surely the Politburo Diktat cannot be the web's best source of info on that piece of real estate. With almost equal certainty, I doubt it should rank in the top ten. "What is going on?" I wondered.

This blog received more Google hits from "Dukakis tank photo." That post, a three paragraph excerpt from the book, Tank, actually summarizes the infamous armored joyride quite well. Unless a websurfer wanted to know the exact date of the event, or wanted to view the video itself, or wondered exactly which genius in Dukakis' camp came up with that brainstorm, my post is a fairly good summary. Score one for blogs' Google relevance!

Now my antennae were up. When Alex Polier's name first surfaced in the British press, but not in the U.S., I saw an opening. I Googled her name, and posted all the links to her articles. (As an aside, that post did not mention the junior senator from the Bay State, not link her to him; it was a simple traffic-parasitical post. No rumor-mongering. Only people Googling her name found that post, and it only included her AP and Columbia articles.) In any case, thousands of Google searches on her name hit my blog. But no more; The Politburo Diktat has been drowned in hundreds of other 'Alex Polier' URLs. Sic transit gloria archnaea

And today, I was prompted to write this piece. The Politburo Diktat is in Google top three URL's for the word "twat." Thank you, James Joyce! I always wanted to be the world's top-ranked website on a vulgar name for the female anatomy.

What is going on here?

In a general way, a "well-linked" blog that features the key word, especially if also in the title of the post, looks very good to Google. After all, that IS Google's specialty - using inbound linkage to help determine search results. Mr. James Joyce waxed wroth about bloggers "fucking up" Google. While he had a point, he grossly mis-stated the consequences. A websurfer looking for "Dukakis tank photo" could do a lot worse than my post. But as for the "twat" surfers, I don't know.

Blogs are here, with a lot of content and an abundance of inbound links (from sites with their own abundance of inbound links). I suspect that Google's army of skilled programmers will adapt skillfully to this latest shift in the internet landscape.

There is one detail to point out. A newbie, a blogger with no links, cannot suddenly start posting about "Alex Polier" tonight and expect to rise to the top of Google's rankings. Nor can such a blogger gain 300 links overnight; that takes a few months, and a blog worth linking to (a minimally self-congratulatory evaluation, which The Commissar will not shy away from). Presumably a newly established blog would have to do more than excerpt headlined words to garner a few hundred inbound links.

Other thoughts? (But if you don't like my neologistic title, click here first.)

Update: Mypetjawa enables TBs.

Ten Signs You've made it

1. Frank J. attacks you vituperatively, and then dares you to link to him, post about him, or buy his stuff.

2. Your daily SiteMeter is not all jagged and jumpy, but sculpted in flowing Beyonce-like curves, such that CH'Allah himself feels funny in the pants when looking at it.

3. Commenters begin to say things like, "Woot! First comment!"

4. You get so much traffic, that nothing less than news of Osama being pulled out of a spider hole by his exposed breast while he simultaneously fellates the POTUS and sets off WMD's causes it to spike.

5. Some angry asshat at Krocko5hit attacks you vituperatively, and then publicly de-links you.

6. People who met each other in your Comments section have gotten married.

7. Most bloggers are casually aware that you are a practicing midwife in Missouri, with a fondness for ham radios.

8. You blog from Iraq.

9. A Google image search of your first and last name turns up seventeen accurate pictures.

10. Meryl Yourish calls you anti-Semitic, Gut Rumbles calls you an "over-educated, under-liquored, Carpetbagger," and Steven den Beste fisks every single letter in your post, ---- all on the same day.

DemCom Deck of Cards for Operation Bloggi Freedom

DEMCOM - (For Immediate Release)

DEMCOM has issued a deck of 52 playing cards to assist our troops in Blogistan to identify dangerous bloggers, regime holdouts, and hardcore Blaa-blaah-ists.

Click to see larger view of cards. From there, cards themselves are click-able, bring comrades directly to subversive blogs.

Or maybe you want the Original Deck of Iraq's Most Wanted?

Commissar Does Letterman

Top Ten Rules of Blogging

1. Do not apologize for light blogging. "Hey guys, sorry for the light blogging, but I've gotta turn a few bolts here at the tractor factory, so I won't be blogging much for the next six hours."

Set aside the fact that such warnings are typically followed by a Gatling fury of rapid-fire posts. Comrade, I hate to be the one to tell you ... but we will survive. Really. With support of my family, I think I will be able to get by the next day or two without an update from "YourDailyNanoBlogPundit.com."

2. Do not link every word in sentence to a different post, like this. Very nekulturniy.

3. One topic per post.

4. Keep it short. To the point. How many blogs on YOUR blogroll, comrade? Da, me too. Is a lot to read. If you are F*ing genius, I might wade through your latest 30,000 word essay. Brilliant as it is. Then again, maybe not.

5. No "Free Trackback posts." Is like drugs. Brief high feels good, then letdown. Then you get hooked. Like Nancy Reagan said, "Just say no." (Update: Free Trackback Posts explained)

6. No false updating, or "pseudo-pinging," or whatever. Almost as bad to post, "I don't have anything to post." Fine. THEN DON'T. Is there F*ing gun at your head?

7. Identify your sex. I hate it when the blogger is so elliptical as to obscure his or her sex. Tell us your sex. And age. And location. Like in chatrooms, "A/S/L." (Fine, no readers of Politburo Diktat have EVER chatted on line.) "A/S/L" means "Age/Sex/Location." Commisar is 50/M/NY. Not your sexual preferences, please. But give us A/S/L. (Note - Commisar does make guess about blogs with unidentified sex, --- both the sex of the blogger AND orientation.)

8. Maybe give us more than "Hey, I am bright conservative/liberal guy/gal, with news and views of the world." Is OK. Is not nekulturniy. But is somewhat "crowded in that space," da? Define your blog. Make it special. Make it you.

9. No quizzes. See #5. Or do blog on LiveJournal.

10. Set Site Meter to "Ignore Own Visits." Come, Comrade, you would not cheat at solitaire, would you?

Dos svidanya

Update: Certain Trotskyite comrades have taken a Supremely oppositional stance to this diktat. "It's my blog and I'll post what I want to./You would post if it happened to you."
These counter-revolutionary, anti-Party, and reactionary comrades who do not follow Party Line will be hunted down by KGB, liquidated, and then thrown into Lubyanka prison.

Test Your S.Q.

Test Your S.Q. (Sociability Quotient). What kind of blogger are you, comrade? Get pencil and paper. Commissar is not Quizzilla.

1. How many blogs are on your blogroll?
a. Under 20 (0 points)
b. 20-99 (2 points)
c. Over 100 (5 points)
d. “What’s a blogroll?” (subtract 2 points)
(Alternatively, you could give yourself one point per twenty blogs on blogroll.)

2. When you get an email suggesting an exchange of blogroll links, do you:
a. Reply “Sure” and add to blogroll (2 points)
b. Ignore it (0 points)
c. Reply, “I will review your blog to determine if it is worthy of my linkage.” (subtract 2 points)

3. Have you ever said, “I only blog for myself?”
a. No (1 point)
b. Yes (0 points)
c. Repeatedly. I hate these f*ckers who READ and COMMENT on my blog. (minus 10 points)

4. How often do you check your Sitemeter?
a. Several times per hour (5 points)
b. A few times a day (1 point)
c. A few times a week (0 points)
d. “What’s a Site Meter?” (minus 2 points)

5. Score one point for each first name that you recognize, promptly, as a top blogger.
a. Kevin
b. Joshua
c. Glenn (sorry, 0 points for recognition here; minus 3 points for “Who’s Glenn?”)
d. James (minus 1 point if you mean “Lileks”)
e. Michele
f. Kate

6. If you got this far in quiz:
a. Yes (1 point)
b. No (0 points)

7. How often do you do multi-link, link-love, around-the-blogroll posts?
a. Never (0 points)
b. Once a month (1 point)
c. Weekly or more often (3 points)
d. Somewhere in between? (Commissar hates difficult people. Fine. Give yourself 2 points.)

8. When you get a positive, non-trolling, but off-target Comment, do you:
a. Let it pass (1 point)
b. Question the comment in a follow-up comment (0 points)
c. Write a post dedicated to ‘dissing’ the Comment and explaining how wrong the Commenter is. (minus 5 points)

9. How many blogging contests, carnivals, fiestas, hoe-downs, and luaus have you entered this past month?
a. None (0 points)
b. One (1 point)
c. Two or more (2+ points, one point per contest entered in past month)

10. Have you ever done a “free trackback to this post” type of entry?
a. No (0 points)
b. Yes (8 points)
c. Um, yeah, like, a lot. (15 points, or more if you feel appropriate.)

Score and Summary

Negative Score – Buy leather-bound journal. Keep by bedside. Write in it at night
0 – 5 points – Hello? Stop looking in mirror. There are other bloggers out there.
6 – 15 points – Typical blogger.
16 – 30 points – Moderately social blogger. Add a little more content to blog.
Over 30 points – Get off back. Perhaps in wrong profession.

Confess your actual score, Comrade.

TrackBack Dialectics

An email from Capitalist Patterico about his case of P.I.T.S. (Post Instalanche Traumatic Syndrome) reminded Commissar of fickleness of traffic. "Indeed," traffic often nothing more than the latest whim of proletarian masses following the latest bourgeois fad. ("Psst ... Want grainy videotape of Britney Hilton suing Michael Jackson for divorce because he abused Bennifer's secret love child?")

Instalanche is almost meaningless. Only slightly more meaningful is "serial mini-lanches," when several bolshoi bloggers send you traffic repeatedly. Like Chinese food, da? Tasty, but not satisfying in long run.

Bloggers like to look at peaks in their Sitemeter counts. More interesting are valleys, or recent minimum. Low point is MORE interesting? Da. Minimum shows "core traffic" aside from any effect of "this-lanche" or "that-lanche." Perhaps "weekday minimum" most interesting, since weekends & holidays usually have lower traffic. (Many bloggers not fully committed to meeting produktion quotas at local tractor factories, da?)

A List

Is regrettably Capitalist concept, but key thing is getting on bloggers' and readers' "A List." Blogroll is nice. But, whether done explicitly or implicitly, consciously or not, bloggers and readers (i.e. non-blogging readers) maintain "A List" of bloggers that they read frequently. Instapundit does not get 80,000 hits per day because of links from Drezner, Vodkapundit, Wizbang, etc.. Glenn is on "A List" of thousands of readers and bloggers.

"A List' is fuzzy, blogger may even reject idea that he has one. Exceptionally, some may not. Confirmed Blogaholics may survey scores of blogs equitably. When Commissar is gung-ho on blogging, he sets "Blogrolling Update" preference to 3 hours and checks all 100+, as they update, with Marxist equality --- for day or two. :) But most bloggers and readers check short list of blogs with Stakhanovite dedication.

"A List" is also dynamic. "Ah .. that Commissar, he used to be okay, but probably will just be another map. " and blogger moves on to read Heidi's Sauron post.

In sum, sustainable traffic flows from being on a number of bloggers (and readers!) "A List." But how to get there? And how to measure? How to tell if you are making progress?

Trackbacks

TTLB Ecosystem is starting point. Excellent resource, Kudos to NZ Bear. But is only starting point; heavily weighted towards Blogrolls.

Simplest, self-contained measure is Trackbacks. For Commissar any post with 10+ Trackbacks is bolshoi post. Khorosho! But, be careful. Trackback is transitory, almost by definition. As post recedes, so does impact of Trackback.

Important thing is Trackback shows possible "A" listing of your blog by Trackbacker. Consider. Takes some time and effort to Trackback. First, a blogger reads your post. That is achievement in its own right. Second, blogger likes your post. A lot. Third, blogger decides decides to invest her own time and reputation, by building link to your post in her blog, saying, "Hey, check out this by Post by BloggerX. Tremendous!"

Sure, you might get traffic from Trackback, but is more important that blogger has moved you closer to her (by definition, finite) "A List."

(There are more "social" bloggers that seem to engage in roughly even trackback exchanges. "Weekly blogroll link-love checkaround hot list." Is fine. Nothing wrong with it. But that is different kind of Trackback. Here, focus is on "earned" Trackacks, just from quality of post.)

Not sure of conclusion. No cookbook or recipe or gimmick to "generate trackbacks" or to "get on hundreds of bloggers A List." Only that some combination of quality posts, time spent, and consideration for other bloggers will build it.

Update: EGO tracks back.

Socialist Googlebombing

After KaShei pointed out the bad presidents Googlebomb, Patterico asked how I had done that.

Honestly, it was unplanned. Just lucky. That's the mysterious power of Google. :)

But ... I am not above helping Google along. Here's the offer:

Let's exchange "friendly" Google bombs. If one of your posts already ranks high on certain Google search words, let me know in the Comments, and I will "reinforce" it with a link here. In exchange, please insert one (or both) of the following in your blog.

Hmmm ... to be effective over time, this has to be on the index page. (Thinking as I am writing.) That's a different level of intensity, isn't it.

Okay, here are my friendly Google bombs that you may insert into your blog. Please comment or email with exchanges or discussion:

bad presidents

spider hole of denial

Contest for Best Contest?

What is it with Amerikan Bloggers and their elections, contests, and awards?

Comrades, enough is enough. If Commissar encounters another F*ing Blogging contest, election, or award, he is going to "go postal," .. da? Kevin, is okay; you are doing good thing, "annual" awards. Khorosho. Not sure why it had to go on until Dec. 14, but is okay.

Commissar gets email to judge this contest. Goes to another blog, sees contest for "old" posts only. Goes to another blogger, sees contest for "new" bloggers only. Awards for "medium" bloggers, elections for best "war" blogger, best "peace" blogger, best "vegetarian" blogger. Monthly awards, Weekly contests, ... "Blog of the Nano-second" recipients.

What is next? Contest to determine "Best Contest?"

Will someone angrier than Commissar take up cudgel? John Cole? Emperor Misha! Howard Beale?

Like I said, Kevin is doing "Wizbang" job with annual contest. No problem. But come morning of Dec. 15 ...

Comrades! Take the pledge! Next blogger to start contest --- taken to Lubyanka for strict punishment, or ... even ... *gasp* ... ULTIMATE sanction of Blogosphere (and Commissar hesitates to go nuclear), but da, ... DELINK FROM BLOGROLL! Da! Commissar will "push red button," will "drop big one." We are talking mushroom cloud! The Hesiod bomb.

This is serious govno, comrades. Enough of contests. Is there not news? What about Howard Dean? Al Gore? Paris Hilt0n? Iraq? Remember, comrades, there is WAR on? Commissar would be willing to dredge up Kim du Toit "pussification" entry. Anyone want to post about Easterbrook again? No problem. But no more contests!

Bah! Commissar needs vodka!

UPDATE: Ha! A bolshoi blogger weighs in.

2ND UPDATE: A contest entrant weighs in.

Revolution - Beyond Instalanche

You have new blog, Comrade? Is very nice blog. Maybe you want to share it with world. You want to make your own Revolution, da?

Instalanche

Maybe you think way to start your Revolution is to email The Czar, InstaPlutocrat himself, with "Hey, Glenn, I have good new blog. Please feature in next post." Ha! Comrade, do you think bolshoi capitalist like InstaPlutocrat has time for your proletarian words? He is busy, very busy, reading many, many blogs. Maybe you try anyway.

Kevin of Wizbangblog wrote excellent piece on how to get an Instalanche. Or how best to try.

Maybe you get Instalanche. Suppose, since YOUR blog is most perceptive document since this, that InstaPlutocrat links to it. You get your Instalanche. Then what? Khorosho, you send pants to dry cleaner. Good.

What next? Will you impale yourself on temporary spike in your Site Meter?

Comrades

Nyet. As great Revolutionary Ringo Starr sang "You gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues, And you know it don't come easy." You must work to build Revolution. Seek out intelligentsia. Exchange Blogrolls. Comment on posts. Trackback to posts.

Kevin (in excellent post) called this "minor league" approach. :) Kevin is bolshoi Capitalist too, da?

Find "comrades." (No, not in hackneyed, satiric sense of Commissar, in real sense.) A network of blogger/readers. Blogrolling? That only first step. Many have 100, 200 blogs on Blogroll; not all of them are comrades. "Comrades" are bloggers, maybe of roughly same size, who read your blog, maybe comment now and then, mention/link to your blog in posts, and maybe exchange emails.

These bloggers are comrades, regardless of size. Maybe you think that tomorrow, Glenn, Atrios, Eugene, Kevin, etc. will begin featuring your blog regularly. Think again. They already have THEIR comrades.

One very important point. "Comradeship" runs both ways. Do you support your comrades' Revolution? You better, or you soon be on barricade, all by yourself, except for Google traffic from combined keywords "ladybug cum baseball pundit."

You want quality comrades. Remember, visitors to your site will follow links. Where do you send them? Good place or boring place? Requires some thought, da? Commissar does not mean to reject a comrade's request. Suppose you get email from Comrade, "Hey I wrote interesting post." He wants you to link to it. Here's rule: You link to it. When you get 80,000 hits per day, then you start picking and choosing. So, you must balance fraternal comradeship with need to send visitors to good places. Thus, good idea to select interesting comrades from start.

Mr. Nice Guy

Dean called it "decency." Maybe it is sensitivity, consideration, or thoughtfulness. Respect other bloggers. Think through implications. Is not Sputnik science.

One small example: Comments and Trackbacks. Venomous Kate, a medium-sized and growing blogger, tires of Commenters who only want free exposure for their URL's on her blog. Too cranky? Think again. Look at bolshoi bloggers like Glenn. Does he say, "Be considerate with Comments. Add something to discussion, beyond shameless self-promotion." No. He simply does not have Comments nor Trackback. Why not, comrades? Too much bardak.

On other hand, look at little bloggers like Commissar. Any Comment or TraktorBack welcome, like warm sunny day in Moscow in March.

Use some discretion. Some thought about Comments. Something like this: Little Bloggers -- green light. Medium bloggers -- yellowlight. Big bloggers -- red light (tools not enabled). Whatever you do, does it add to them, or just to you?

Decency, respect, and comradeship apply to all aspects of blogging, not just Comments. This kind of thing goes long way.

You want many comrades, referrers from different places. Like this:

1 http://hippercritical.typepad.com/
2 http://tcp.dramatools.net/
3 http://realpolitik.us/
4 http://merdeinfrance.blogspot.com/
5 http://www.imao.us/cgi-bin/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1111
6 http://site-essential.com/blogroll.shtml
7 http://www.doctor-horsefeathers.com/
8 http://www.allahpundit.com
9 http://www.acepilots.com/
10 http://www.allahpundit.com/
11 unknown
12 unknown
13 http://www.mahablog.com/index.html